Our communication is an “inside job.”
Whatever story we believe about ourselves becomes the soundtrack of our lives.
When you have a high level of self-awareness, you notice the internal chatter. Then, if it's toxic, you can make a change.
The good thing is that you can decide anytime, any day, to re-record your self-talk jabbering. You control the radio dial in your head.
So what are you listening to???
A soundtrack of worry, weeds, and unworthiness?
Or are you tuned to a soundtrack of success and live with a sense of ease and optimism?
Getting real here. I have often kidded myself into thinking no one else can hear my berating voice.
I was soooo wrong.
Talking s**t about ourselves is sneaky. It creeps into our conversations, emails, messaging, and videos. Every. Single. Day.
When we decide to tune...
There’s long been hype about thinking big and dreaming big.
You know the adage, shoot for the moon. If you miss, you’ll hit the stars.
That’s lovely and inspiring.
But, it doesn't work for entrepreneurs who want more visibility and clients.
People don't care much about the “big” events in our lives.
The graduations, certifications, weddings, or other "moon and stars" milestones.
Formal events tend to feel staged and predictable.
Same for our introductions, stories, and "About Me" pages.
If they are filled with milestones, people lose interest.
Look, prospects will get to your qualifications.
First, though, you've gotta show up real and relatable.
Like a human being who is easy to connect with.
That's why successful speakers and entrepreneurs pay close attention to ordinary (smaller) moments.
The gold in your story is the seemingly mundane smaller things in life that have deeply affected you.
Ordinary moments often morph...
Humans are born with only 2 fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.
Science proves it.
Everything else you’re afraid of was learned, most likely in your childhood (0-7 years old)
And we carry these fears—and the stories behind them—with us…for years.
• You talk about being afraid of heights.
• You talk about being afraid of dogs, spiders, or snakes.
• You talk about your fear of public speaking. Then, you give momentum to your (learned) story by talking about the presentation you messed up…in 2012.
Our words create our worlds.
And they usually keep us from growing ourselves and our businesses.
So, what are you afraid of, aside from maybe falling and loud noises?
My client, Don, was reflecting with me about how transformative this fear lesson has been for him.
Don’s a super smart techie.
He was studying computer languages long before the rest of us found the Internet.
His programs have been used by the Pentagon and...
I talk A LOT about how to introduce yourself so you are seen and heard --and grow your business.
I am obsessed with my work not because people walk away with a concise introduction.
Something is hiding deep beneath the words. And it has become my mission.
It’s the real reason I do what I do. It has taken me a lifetime—59 years and torrents of tears—to understand my fixation on other people's stories.
It began when I was four years old. I didn't speak.
My parents thought I was deaf, but the doctor told them I was fine.
He said I didn't talk because I communicated in a way that didn't require words. When I was hungry, I’d bang on the refrigerator.
No words or voice were necessary.
So, what does a little girl who did not speak until age 4 do with her life?
I went to college and majored in mass communications. Go figure.
I quickly found the campus radio station, a place filled with microphones and speakers...
In elementary school, most of the girls I knew were told they “talk too much in class.”
Both of my sisters got those lovely comments on their report cards from time to time.
I was a roamer.
I didn’t talk all that much; I wanted out. Out of whatever classroom I was in.
I have insatiable curiosity.
I saw myself as “life’s little observer.”
I always sensed that something interesting was happening…somewhere else.
And I was hell-bent on finding out where it was, who was involved, how things were playing out, and even why.
My modus operandi was simple. Ask for a bathroom pass or volunteer to deliver something to the library, office, or anywhere.
And get the hell out.
I felt like Maya Angelou’s “caged bird” trapped in Mrs. Rosenthal’s 3rd-grade classroom.
Of course, the tall people in charge at Woodbrook Elementary School –and my parents—weren’t keen on this roaming thing. (Wasn't I a...
If this wacky Pandemic has revealed one thing about entrepreneurs, it’s this:
Most people don’t feel comfortable talking about themselves online.
Even those with exceptional talents and experience.
They shrink back from sharing their stories.
They say too much…or the wrong things..so prospects click somewhere else.
They “kind of” think they have a story that’s worthy of sharing.
Still, deep down inside they’ve convinced themselves otherwise.
These are the common themes I’ve been seeing and hearing online and with clients since last March when the health crisis hit.
It’s especially rampant on Clubhouse.
People are messaging me about their deep fears around what to say when introducing themselves and how to say it.
Then I get the follow-up DM:
He had the stories in his heart and his head.
But David couldn’t get them out on paper.
No, it wasn’t a sales presentation or media coaching.
David was an accomplished project manager and engineer who was referred to me by a mutual business acquaintance.
He had a personal communication project that was new to me.
Look, I had ghostwritten nearly 1,000 posts, articles, bios, speeches, editorials and messages during my 35 years in the news and communication industry.
But never one like this.
David needed a Father of the Bride speech for his daughter Melissa’s rehearsal dinner.
This was big; 150 people at the dinner and 500 for the wedding the next day. David knew some of the guests intimately; the others he had never met.
People would be watching.
It could be a tough crowd.
Stories around the holiday season run rampant.
From family and generational tales to Biblical passages, stories bring us together as human beings.
It is the words within the stories that wield true power.
Words move us deeply.
We listen, watch and read with wonderment, curiosity and emotion. Well-written and well-told stories have the power to move us to laughter...and to tears.
One thing I’ve noticed in business as “Life’s Little Observer” (being a people-watcher and listening with a keen ear as a news reporter) is this...
The highest paid people in the room are exceptional storytellers.
Believe me, I have interviewed everyone from homeless people to presidents. During my 35-year career, I have seen it all!
My point for everyday business pros like you is this:
I keep hearing people talking about their coaches—business, marketing, Mastermind groups, sales…on and on. “I’m working on my online presence and SEO…” and “I’ve got accountability partners in my sales coaching…” and “I’m in a high-level group with ---"
If you’ve been working with coaches either privately or in groups, I wanna let you in on a little secret.
Actually, it's not a little secret- it's a HUGE secret that will make ALL the difference when it comes to your ability to get amazing, like-minded ideal clients excited to invest with you.
The secret is: You don’t need more Instagram posts or lead gen to grow your business and live your dream life. YOU are the message and you're likely repelling prospects and it has nothing to do with your posts OR the quality...
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